How I Got My Heart of Stone

How did I get my heart of stone?
Photo by ch1mp

No one quite knows the reason.
It could be perhaps that his shoes were too tight.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
- Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas

I have been indoctrinated.

I admit it. From the time that I was born, I have been raised with a specific worldview. Primarily, I believe what I believe because I was raised that way and I vote the way I vote because I was raised to vote that way.

Have my ideals been challenged? Definitely. Have I defended my views? Absolutely. But being challenged and defending a worldview when it has been so thoroughly ingrained doesn’t necessarily indicate that you have evaluated and internalized those values. After all, “talking points” are called “talking points” for a reason.

Why do I believe what I believe? Maybe it is because my shoes are too tight! Or worse! Maybe, because I have been raised in such a callous, greed-driven, privileged environment, I am actually heartless? Let’s look at the factors that contributed to my values. Which elements give credence to the criticism that I have been brainwashed, or at least, have a very limited perspective on the world?

In fact, for fun, lets give some ratings to see how I score. Negative points for factors that, according to my Liberal friends, typically promote close-mindedness, indoctrination, and a limited worldview. Positive points for factors that, again, according to my Liberal friends, typically promote open-mindedness, critical thinking, and an expanded worldview.

My Roots

• I am white (-20). Oh, big hit! I am starting out in the hole! But, I am a quarter Mexican! I do have a grandmother that immigrated from Mexico City (+4), but my Mexican heritage doesn’t exhibit itself very much (-3).
• I am male (-20). Another big ding against my cred. How does a white guy know anything about the challenges and struggles in America?!
• I was raised in Southern California, with plenty of diversity, culturally and economically (+12). I lived in Riverside County, a county some have said is more Conservative than Orange County (-11). There was a great deal of cultural diversity in my hometown: 46% white, 20% black, with 38% with hispanic origin. Almost 35% of the population spoke another language besides English with over 100 different languages being represented (+9).

My Religion

Upclose & Personal with the Cycle of Poverty



AAs an LDS missionary, I spent time in some of most crime-ridden & poverty stricken areas in Baltimore, Annapolis & Anne Arundel County. Almost nothing else in my life has made me question more the Conservative approach to helping this part of society. Who is right when it comes to helping people caught in these vicious cycles of poverty, welfare, drugs & violence? This is one of the issues I plan to post about.
(Click here to read about one of my crazy experiences)

• I am a Mormon (-10). Yeah, me and Mitt Romney are ol’ buds! The mere fact that I believe in a religion is a knock against me! But I’ll agree that the stringent adherence to no smoking, no drinking, no premarital sex, can appear to some as blind acceptance and, truthfully, for some Mormons, it is! So here’s an additional ding (-5).
• If that weren’t enough, I went to BYU, voted #1 Stone-Cold Sober School by the Princeton Review for ten-plus years straight! (-9) Even I experienced culture shock when I first got there coming from California. I guess if it’s something you agree with, you wouldn’t call it indoctrination (kids that go to Cal Berkley hopefully know what they’re getting into), but I would agree that BYU absolutely promotes specific ideals, and critical views are looked upon with horror! Again, here’s an additional ding (-6).
• However, since I know what is truly intended both from BYU & from LDS Church, and know that we are, in fact, encouraged to be compassionate, love our neighbors & our enemies, and seek out truth wherever it may be, I’m giving myself a slight bump (+2).
• One of the defining experiences in my life was the two years I spent as a missionary for my church. At age 19, I set aside education, work, and normal social life to volunteer full-time in the Baltimore, Maryland area. Yes, I proselyted and shared/imposed my beliefs (-11), but I also volunteered. Among the weekly service we provided for the areas we were in we volunteered at schools, at a hospital, and even at a Catholic charities homeless shelter (+4).
• Some of the circumstances I encountered has given me a different perspective on how easy it is to get stuck in a cycle of poverty & crime. I got to know their struggles and their pain. When you spend everyday, day in and day out, from 6 am to 10 pm, thinking about, praying for, serving and loving a people, they change in your eyes. I feel that I have a different perspective because of my experience (+13).

My Reality

• I live in Utah (-6), in Utah County (-7), in a small town (-4) that hosts a yearly rodeo (I know! Trust me I mock some of these hicks myself). I guess I could fall into the “bitter-clinger” category if I owned a gun (+6), but my brother-in-law’s family has several, including an AK-47, which is a blast to shoot! (-3)
• The town I live in doesn’t have any recycling program like I was used to in California, and I think they should (+6), but they did recently build a wind farm! (+8) However, I think man-made global warming is a hoax (-8) and going green is worthless (-8) unless it saves me money (i.e. those florescent bulbs)! (+2)
• I work in a very entrepreneurial-minded, small business-starting field and think business should get all the tax breaks possible (-7) and the rich shouldn’t be taxed proportionally more just because they are rich (-8).
• I am married. My wife doesn’t work (-8), instead she stays home to raise our two children. Our boy was born with special needs and totally rejected any thought of aborting the pregnancy (-2). -140

I’m One Cold-Heart Jerk

Adding everything up, I have 156 negative points against me and 66 positive points for me, bringing the total to a unfeeling, discompassionate -90! In reality, the points I assigned were rather arbitrary other than to illustrate how I estimate a Liberal-minded individual would evaluate my perspective. How did I do? According to my calculation, I have been brainwashed and could use some independent thought!

Now let me assure you, I do think. I think for myself. I have moved beyond a reliance of other influences so that I believe what I believe because I believe them. I have considered my positions and values and have made my decisions through independent critical thought.

At the same time, I am open-minded. I want to understand the opposing point of view. I want to understand the positive aspects to that ideology. I can’t trace the source of the idea that Conservatives are cold and Liberals are compassionate, but I want to understand it. So I am going to try to view the world as a Liberal. I’m going to fake it. I am going to pretend that I am compassionate and re-evaluate my positions. With this blog I am feigning compassion until I understand how to be compassionate.

Here’s where you come in.
If you think I am wrong in my arguments, tell me!
If you have something to add, please do.